Say Cheese

Whoever invented the camera sucked. I mean, they really kind of sucked. I decided that the camera is one of the most imperfect machines ever and I hate it. I hate how they've evolved into these sexy nifty little things I don't have that people carry around and use to take awesome Facebook photos. Mostly, I hate how I look different in every single picture anyone has ever taken of me, and how the sexy cameras have raised expectations to have the equivalent of entire photo albums online.

I've been fumbling my way through a slightly shady but equally entertaining encounter with a gentleman from Unnamed online dating website, who initially inquired as to why I did not have expected photo album on my profile. I mean, really. Really? I don't have a cool little gadget to take profile-worthy pictures and what I have are limited to old ones my friends have taken. Why should I have more, let alone make them public? Then, said gentleman (who actually isn't really one at all but we both agreed that when it comes to dating, "volume is key") had the audacity to check out my tagged Facebook photos.

Damn Facebook! Damn tagging! Damn my accepting-his-friend-request-too-soon and not-setting-strong-enough-privacy-settings! As if there isn't enough to worry about. Gentleman comments on how I look different in photos and I did not take this as a good sign. After a frantic cancellation of our first-date-business-meeting-last-date last week, he contacted me several times again to apologize and ask me to give it a shot. I agreed not because he was so persuasive, but because "volume is key." Also, because I'm a sucker. A big one. A big middle-child one. It doesn't make me feel any better that he was interested in the first place because of my picture. I hate you camera.