Psst...I have a secret.

I hate the idea of waterproof mascara.

Ok, I guess that's not really secret-worthy. The secret-worthy part of that statement is that I hate the idea of waterproof mascara because I feel like it assumes women cry too much. I feel like for this one lame stupid assumption, a man invented waterproof mascara so that he can see women make their eyelashes longer-than-natural AND make sure that when they presumably inevitably cry, there are no visible streaks of black across her face to burst his little bubble.

I'm ranting. Probably because I don't know how to write....that I was wrong.

I was wrong. There. Easy.

There is a purpose for waterproof mascara other than saving a woman embarrassment when she cries: It saves her embarrassment when it RAINS. Yesterday, it rained, and I forgot my umbrella. In true Bollywood style, I pretended that I MEANT to forget my umbrella, and with about as much style as Kajol in DDLG, I held my head up high and faced the sky. I was thoroughly enjoying it, when I had a bit of deja vu of the last time I enjoyed the rain this way.

I was a junior in College and I was crossing Campus from one end to the other. It was POURING. But I refused to go back and get an umbrella. Columbia flooded whenever it rained, but I didn't really care. I loved it. I had a cute coat on, so I wasn't getting too soaked or anything, but it was the most liberating feeling to just look up at the sky as it rained. I think I was going crazy in the romance of it all because I ended up literally bumping into my future first-I-don't-know-what-to-call-him-except-significant-someone head on. He intelligently had his hood on and didn't see me, and since I was looking up, I didn't see him. I remember the look of mortification on his face....though I couldn't tell if it was because he bumped into a girl (he was very conservative) or because he bumped into me (he thought I was very liberal). He asked why I was looking up and why I didn't have an umbrella, and again, in true bollywood fashion, I said " I love the rain, isn't it awesome?"I don't know if it was the sight of my huge smile plastered on my face as water dripped down from my chinhairs, or just the response in itself during a major flood watch, but he laughed, and took of his hood off, too. Then he walked me to the other end of campus.

I didn't use to wear mascara then, so there wasn't much to worry about. But when I looked in the mirror last night, I looked like Gene Simmons from KISS. My face was streaked with black lines.

As I made the mental note to myself to never wear non-waterproof mascara on days where there was a risk of rain, I smiled at the irony of the situation. Inducing deja vu only got me black tears.


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